The Age of Stickers and Forts

I will not always live in a house that has 1 or 2 nomadic tents/forts set up around my house at any given time.

Nor will a common sight be stickers and temporary tatoos...on my husband's hands, cheeks, and head. I count 6 stickers on me right now.. But they still have several more to go through. Surely we should ration the stickers, though I am sure that they must reproduce because I only know of one time that I ever bought them and that was 4 years ago.

Oh.. Now I have sticker earings.. So that's 8.

Legal Plunder and the Church

I just happened to find this funny/really sad. I see so many people forgetting all the pheomenal things that have been accomplished through the love and charity of people. The great "social programs" of the church--hospitals, feeding the poor, caring for the orphans--are great because they come from the heartfelt response of its people. However, when we try to do great things by taking money away from people, the heart goes out of it. That's why I think that the best laid plans of politicians and lobbyists are all ROT: they are based on a policy of legal plunder that deadens the heart of citizens to the needs of the poor and needy.

You surely can build anything you like with other people's money, provided you have a big enough army and a realistic enough threat of jail time to get them to give it to you. But, what the State does with our taxes is not nearly as impressive OR effective as what has been done, or could have been done, through our charity. But that's not the worst of it. The State's social programs are based on the secular notion that if no one makes citizens take care of one another, they won't do it. Lex credendi, lex viviendi. As we believe so we live. If we believe that people will not be charitible without the government enforcing it, then people will live that way--and they do.

The Church leaders would be wise to think harder before cooperating with HUD and accepting various grants from government social services. If we can't get the work of God done with heart money, perhaps it isn't God's work after all. Just because citizens hand over their money each year, under penalty of law, to the government, who in turn offers it in the form of a grant--does this make it free money to the Church? No. It is money that couldn't be gained through love and was taken by force. In this light, the State is NOT a benefactor, but a thief and a money launderer.

We need to take on the responsibility to the poor that our faith requires of us, but not through legal plunder. We should lower taxes and get money for the Church and the poor the right way. The HEART way.

Paying Attention

Any parent of small children knows the longing for the day when our children really start paying attention at church. So you can understand my joy when our 6 year old, (now 7), was raptly attentive when a visiting priest was giving his homily a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, ignorance can be less than bliss when you start paying attention, because she couldn't help asking: "what does that mean?" at every turn. Everytime his vocabulary got a little beyond her 1st grade level, she'd whisper her request for clarification. Imagine her delight when he got to a part she did understand:

"It doesn't matter who we are. We all have suffering. Whether it is from illness, or financial difficulties, the suffering is there. Sometimes we struggle with relationships, or even family problems..."

"MOM!" She whispered excitedly (for the few rows behind us to hear), "WE have family problems!!" To which she added in a concerned voice: "Mom, you're not supposed to laugh at church."

Free Time

So I just took a moment to stand still today, thinking, as I sometimes do. I noticed that although I was standing still, my house was still working. I realized that:

• The dryer was drying clothes
• The washer was washing bedding
• The dishwasher was cleaning up the dishes
• The stove was cooling from heating my supper
• The fridge was cooling the sauce I pre-made for supper
• The lights were on (more than need be!)
• The bathtub was draining
• The air conditioner was blowing (at least the fan was on)
• My cell phone was ringing
• AND My kids were eating ice cream that I grabbed out of the deep freeze

And I realized: I don't keep house! I run a factory of machines, a bastion of efficiency. So here I sit at my computer to wonder at the life we lead that would be totally incomprehensible to those who lived and died just 80 years ago. My great-great grandmother could have spent her WHOLE day just doing laundry and preparing meals. My great-great grandfather could have spent half of his day just getting to the field and back.

So amidst all of this humming of machinery I must ask myself: what was the meaning of life BEFORE free time and productivity? I mean, if in most of human history, people were about 1/20th as efficient as I am in 21st century America, leisure is really a modern invention, along with multi-tasking! It seems to me that many of us live for the free time, the hobbies, Facebook, favorite movies and books. We thrive on emailing, internet shopping, talking on the phone, and driving all at the same time. But what did my great, great grandparents live for? You know back when the pace was slower and more measured? I doubt the answer is laundry. What did they thrive on? Were they happy? Were they happier?

Solemn Vowel

I found the girls in the tub after watching Ballet Shoes. The soundtrack went something like this:

"We vowel... to be the sisters.... of the world."

"Vowel." "Vowel." "Vowel."

Looking forward to Aunt Kaela and Mitch, Aunt Dani & Jesse, and Cousin Heidi & Jesse making their solemn vowels soon!

So, It's been a while...

Today is a big day.. My brother in law turned 30, my sister got engaged, and I am blogging! Unfortunately, I don't have much to say.. Or maybe it is better said that I have too much to say. The double unfortunate thing is that I can't seem to organize my thoughts lately. Perhaps it is because the "hats" I'm wearing as a mom, a sister, a friend, and with my new job are leaving me without much time to think... I feel there is a lot percolating and not a lot to say.

I've actually caught myself, mid-sentence in a conversation, with no idea what I am going to say next. It's rather embarrassing. I have to pretend that I got distracted, when really I just got lost. I suppose this may be the way that God is answering my prayer to stop having to talk all of the time... When you consistently lose your stream of thought, sometimes it is better to stay on the shore!

I do have one thought to share.. Actually it is not mine, but I'm sure that the priest who told me wouldn't mind my sharing. I sometimes struggle with frustration and anger (big shock) with my children, and I find that I get it trouble when I respond to them that way. Because:

1. They get angry back.
2. They think (maybe not so coherently), "Mom's just mad because she doesn't get to do what she wants (like sit in peace) right now." When I want them to think, "I really goofed. I may not like it, but Mom is right--I need to do better."
3. I teach them that they only need to listen when I am angry. I don't stay calm and get results.

So, Father Smarty gave me the tip in confession this weekend that when I wonder if I am sinning when I discipline, I should examine NOT my feelings (angry, frustrated, etc.) when I am disciplining, but my motivation. Selfish and grudging feelings, stemming from not getting to sleep or to blog or to have a clean/quiet/perfect house (you know, not getting things my way) lead to angry parenting, where concern for the child's virtue and character and FUTURE leads to holy and far more effective parenting.

So far I've discovered that most of the time I correct my kids because their behavior is bothering me--and the focus of my discipline is to get them to stop NOW so that they stop bugging me! I guess I have a bit of work to do to change the focus of my discipline from stopping behavior to changing hearts.

That's all I have for now.. Pray for me, you guys, because it's a long/fast/crazy month I have ahead of me, and I need all the help I can get!

Grudge Not, Lest Ye Be Grudged

Last week, I happened to catch Fr. John Ricardo's radio show, "Christ is the Answer," on 1150 KWKY when he was talking about the parable of the unforgiving servant. I like that parable, mostly because we had a children's book that I used to read with the story in it, so it is very familiar to me. His meditation on this parable was incredible, and led me to some thoughts about what the Lord is asking from me when it comes to forgiveness. This post won't make much sense to you if you don't know the parable, so here it is, Matthew 18: 21-35:

Then Peter approaching asked him, "Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? As many as seven times?" Jesus answered, "I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times. That is why the kingdom of heaven may be likened to a king who decided to settle accounts with his servants. When he began the accounting, a debtor was brought before him who owed him a huge amount [literally 10,000 talents].

Since he had no way of paying it back, his master ordered him to be sold, along with his wife, his children, and all his property, in payment of the debt. At that, the servant fell down, did him homage, and said, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back in full.' Moved with compassion the master of that servant let him go and forgave him the loan.

When that servant had left, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a much smaller amount [literally 100 denarii]. He seized him and started to choke him, demanding, 'Pay back what you owe.'

Falling to his knees, his fellow servant begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.'
But he refused. Instead, he had him put in prison until he paid back the debt. Now when his fellow servants saw what had happened, they were deeply disturbed, and went to their master and reported the whole affair.

His master summoned him and said to him, 'You wicked servant! I forgave you your entire debt because you begged me to. Should you not have had pity on your fellow servant, as I had pity on you?' Then in anger his master handed him over to the torturers until he should pay back the whole debt.

So will my heavenly Father do to you, unless each of you forgives his brother from his heart."

Father Ricardo was giving some historical background that got my attention. A denarius (singular for denarii) was worth a day's wage, so the "unforgiving servant" was owed 100 denarii or over 3 months wages. No small amount! However, a talent was a unit that was equal to about 600 denarii, which would make the 10,000 talents equal to about 6,000,000 days' wages, or 16,438 years. If you made $40,000 a year, that would be like owing $657,532,000.

So, the debt forgiven by the Master ($657,532,000) was an unpayable debt, and the debtor's promise to repay it was as empty as they come. A slave could be sold for about 200 denarii, and even with all of the labor that the servant could give in 83 years of life, he would still fall significantly short, about 16,355 years short, of repaying the debt he owed. Jesus was making the point that his "tortures" would last forever, since the debt could not be repayed.

On the other hand, the debt that was called in by the "unforgiving servant" was not unpayable. 3 months' wages would have been a difficult debt to repay... That would be like making $40,000 a year and having some delinquent owe you $10,000. But if someone were to buckle down, he could repay it in a few years.

This parable, and Father Ricardo's meditation on it, got me thinking about Jesus' maxim: "Judge not, lest ye be judged." What is judging if it is not "Standing on your rights to proclaim, even in your heart, that someone else has done wrong he had no right to do and should repay the debt he owes and/or repair the damage he caused." This maxim is the teaching of Jesus that we are NOT to do that. We are NOT to stand on our rights, nor are we to demand repayment.

Well, it's not exactly true, we CAN stand on our rights, but it is foolish and dangerous to do so. Others may greatly harm us, hurt us, injure us, embarrass us cruelly, infringe on our space, slander us, persecute us, or even kill us, but the debt we owe is infinitely greater. While others may become indebted to us by taking and infringing on our rights, we are FINITE and our rights are limited when it comes to our fellow creatures. The debt we owe to our Creator and our King, however, is holiness and perfect obedience. He has the right to be our master because he is the only reason we even exist! The original debt of sin we have inherited, compounded by our personal sins we commit, lead us all to fall short of what we owe to God: an unpayable debt.

In this parable, the Master forgives the enormous debt owed to Him, but does He just write it off as a loss for tax purposes? We know that the Master does not write off the debt, but pays it Himself (more precisely, through His Son). This would be like being in forclosure on your house and having the banker selling himself, (taking the form of a slave) and satisfying your debt. He does not stand on his rights, and take your home, but absorbs the loss into himself and pays your mortgage for you--times ten billion.

So with such a great load of debt lifted from us, shall we be like that unforgiving servant and stand on our rights against our fellow servants? When Jesus taught us to pray the "Our Father," he taught, "Forgive us our tresspasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us." Very clearly he teaches that our expectation of forgiveness from God MUST be accompanied by a commitment to forgive others. None of us would ever want the Lord to stand on his rights and call in our debt... so let's grudge not, lest we be grudged!