So, It's been a while...

Today is a big day.. My brother in law turned 30, my sister got engaged, and I am blogging! Unfortunately, I don't have much to say.. Or maybe it is better said that I have too much to say. The double unfortunate thing is that I can't seem to organize my thoughts lately. Perhaps it is because the "hats" I'm wearing as a mom, a sister, a friend, and with my new job are leaving me without much time to think... I feel there is a lot percolating and not a lot to say.

I've actually caught myself, mid-sentence in a conversation, with no idea what I am going to say next. It's rather embarrassing. I have to pretend that I got distracted, when really I just got lost. I suppose this may be the way that God is answering my prayer to stop having to talk all of the time... When you consistently lose your stream of thought, sometimes it is better to stay on the shore!

I do have one thought to share.. Actually it is not mine, but I'm sure that the priest who told me wouldn't mind my sharing. I sometimes struggle with frustration and anger (big shock) with my children, and I find that I get it trouble when I respond to them that way. Because:

1. They get angry back.
2. They think (maybe not so coherently), "Mom's just mad because she doesn't get to do what she wants (like sit in peace) right now." When I want them to think, "I really goofed. I may not like it, but Mom is right--I need to do better."
3. I teach them that they only need to listen when I am angry. I don't stay calm and get results.

So, Father Smarty gave me the tip in confession this weekend that when I wonder if I am sinning when I discipline, I should examine NOT my feelings (angry, frustrated, etc.) when I am disciplining, but my motivation. Selfish and grudging feelings, stemming from not getting to sleep or to blog or to have a clean/quiet/perfect house (you know, not getting things my way) lead to angry parenting, where concern for the child's virtue and character and FUTURE leads to holy and far more effective parenting.

So far I've discovered that most of the time I correct my kids because their behavior is bothering me--and the focus of my discipline is to get them to stop NOW so that they stop bugging me! I guess I have a bit of work to do to change the focus of my discipline from stopping behavior to changing hearts.

That's all I have for now.. Pray for me, you guys, because it's a long/fast/crazy month I have ahead of me, and I need all the help I can get!