I found a new blog that I just love. But first a little background. I have been spending my time lately trying to figure out how I should be spending my time. I mean, I've probably got less than 60 years left, and there are some things that I hope to have figured out by the time I check out.
One of them is "Why should I WANT to get up in the morning?" I have been struggling with that one since I turned 11. I made a deal with myself lately that 7am is MY wake up time, but I almost need to hire someone to pull me out of bed (like George Jetson) and get me going in the morning.
Another one is: How can I keep my duties as a mom, as a woman, as a volunteer, as a wife from overwhelming me? This one hit me after the thousandth marathon cleaning session that left me exhausted (and led to me taking a long break that resulted in a messy house again). Flylady.net has helped me a lot with this, but it is sometimes so hard to WANT to keep putting one foot in front of the other and not just veg out.
And the last one, loosly related to the other two: What should I be doing with my life each day? Or, since I am a MOM: What should I be doing with our lives each day? I think that perhaps my sleep addiction and even my (sometimes) chaotic life lies underneath that search for the "shoulds" and "why should 'I's" of my life.
Well, sometimes when I am really needing an answer, I ask my friend Google. This was what I got:
http://momandkiddo.blogspot.com/
subtitle: What do we do all day?
Funny thing: I noticed that this weekend I found no trouble getting out of bed after 5-1/2 hours of sleep because I had something "urgent" to do. I think that the trouble is that I need a wake up call to make me realize that this day-in, day-out, one-foot-in-front-of-the-other life that I lead is important, too...
I can take a deep breath and not worry too much because I can't ruin the girls with a bad day here or there, BUT I can't make them turn out fantastic with a wonderful day here or there, either. It's the general attitude, the daily grind, that determines my life and my character, not the super high or super low points.
That's why I like that blog (and the blogs of people I know, too)... it's simply life. I guess that's what I am searching and praying for... Abundant life, everyday.. Not just roller coaster highs and lows, but a sustained peace, joy, and fruitfulness.
It may take me 60 good years to figure that out...
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About Me
- Mandie DeVries
- I am a wife, homeschooling mother of 6 children, Catechesis of the Good Shepherd Catechist and formation leader, who moved her family across the country to follow a call to dive deep into the questions and the heritage of thousands of years of philosophy and theology and join in the mission to bring that timeless wealth into conversation with the people of today. (To know God and make him known).
I've been feeling like this a lot lately. Maybe four kids is the magical burn out number-the top of the hump.
ReplyDeleteI have a really hard time waking up too, and then I feel like I stagger through the day, trying to keep everyone fed and minimally clean, until I can drop into bed, only to have to do it over again in like six hours. The constant battle of wills is exhausting, too.
But when I think about what's out "there" it helps keep it in perspective. Not like we should parent out of fear, but it's fact that they will absorb the bad stuff readily, and we will spend all our lives trying to hammer in the good stuff and THEN we will have to pray really hard that they get it, and rely on God's grace for both us as teacher, and them as learner. I'm glad I didn't fully comprehend what I was signing up for, or I probably would have evaded the whole problem and then I would have missed out on all the blessings, too!
My thoughts on 4 kids is not that 4 kids is a lot, but that 4 LITTLE kids is a lot. As our youngest approaches 2 years old (next month), and our oldest approaches 7 at the end of the summer, I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel... Not that we won't have any more children, but that I will never have all of my children under 5 again... It was a crucible and a trying time for me. I can say I am a better woman now, but it's kind of like being a teenager--you don't want to go through THAT again.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking about that lady who said the graphic suicide comment to you at Sam's (if she had to deal with 4 kids). It's true: children grate at your nerves and try your patience to the extreme. The fact that we can survive it means that our patience has increased and our nerves are stronger. I think that is a very good thing for society: stronger nerved, more patient women raising children. Thank God and my family for making me do the work to get that way. Hopefully my sweet girls have a head start in this "patience" bit, because they grew up in a large, loud, nerve-grating, and LOVING family.